his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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