every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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