Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The adults are the big ones right?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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