4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
oh god the rape fog is back!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
