Non-Jews are for practice
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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