Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
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Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
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I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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