sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize