After last night, I could never be a politician.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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