It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
