Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize