That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
