how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize