is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
