so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
