return my video game
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
