ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
