I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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