Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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