I skipped work to stalk him.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
