oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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