My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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