I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
