i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Are we still banned from the library?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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