you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
