Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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