Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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