Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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