That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
