Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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