Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
