I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
