we're blogging at a bar
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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