Me too!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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