those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
