New invention idea: vibrating tampons
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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