he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
