i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
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Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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