Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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