I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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