Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
