bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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