I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
