yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
