How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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