So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
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He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
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TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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