No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
