this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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