And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
