all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
