walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
