In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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