ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
