I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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