PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
