Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
