can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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