I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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