so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
