i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
