I want to walk on stilts...naked
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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