i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize