that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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