I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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