we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
