he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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