he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
