The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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